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Obviously this is sarcasm, but since we live in the age of fake news, I’m going to call attention to the fact that this post was purely satirical. The links to the products are affiliate links, and Nazi or not, some of these products are actually beneficial. 🙂
I don’t want to get into the whys and wherefores of what happened in VA this weekend, because I have ranted, raged and discussed those ad nauseum on my FB page. I just came to tell ya’ll that I see what you did there, and after a weekend of listening to the Nazi and Nazi apologists, I have come up with a shopping list for you. After all, haters and hate defenders have needs too. Because I like to make sure that EVERYBODY in society gets what they need, here is my list of must haves, just for you.
Since you love to reside in the sunken place, you may as well get there in style. Not only does this teacup allow you to peacefully sink into the floor, it comes with a spoon so you’re never at a loss for a mode of transportation. Why stay woke when you can remain sleeping? Get this absolutely lovely cup and saucer set for only $16.99 (hypnotist not included).
If you’re going to be out with the boys terrorizing the town, there is only one way to make sure you’re taken seriously: tiki torches. In the good old days, you used to have to come up with your own torch options. Now you have the added bonus of adding citronella oil to cover the stink of all that reverse racism AND shield you from nasty mosquito bites. You don’t want your good white blood getting mixed with the dirty blood of liberals and black folk after all. I made sure to get the 12 pack, that way you have enough for everybody. After all, you’re a Nazi, not a narcissist.
As you know, the “libtards” are coming after your freedom of speech, and here’s a prime example of how they’re going to do it: start making you acknowledge actual historical events. In The Holocaust On Trial, you can see how they attempted to make you believe that Hitler, the king of kindness and goodness, actually exterminated people. Clearly, they know nothing. He was busy painting and admiring those wonderful leather lampshades everyone in Germany was going nuts for. When you’re tired after a long day of trying to explain that the Civil War was over state’s rights, and defending your right to carry the flag of a rebellion, cool off by reading up on your glorious history of being absolutely batshit crazy and wrong.
When the night is through, and you’re ready to marvel over the idiot media’s fake news and twisting of the narrative, take a look at American History X. Talk about wrong! Watch as Edward Norton endures being forced to accept the warped teachings of a man determined to lead him astray, and the attempts of his brothers in prison to “persuade him” back to their way of thinking.The sickest part is that he tries to lead his young impressionable brother down the path of acceptance and not judging people by the color of their skin. Truly sickening. Stream it so you don’t have to stop recording your favorite Fox News telecast.
When you’re constantly full of shit, it can get pretty damn dirty. You’re going to need a solution for that while you’re scaring the elderly and counter protesters. I recommend a good strong wipe. Don’t go with those pansy liberal baby wipes, get a good Cottonelle Wipe, that way you can get all that sweat off. The only thing that should be salty on you is your disposition. Clean it up, dudes!
These are absolute musts for the Nazi and Nazi apologist in you. I couldn’t find any great stain removers for your hoods; ya’ll aren’t smart enough to wear those anymore anyway. Toodles!
Until next time,