• what help are you really if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can't get anything accomplished for yourself? That's not helping uswhat help are you really if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can't get anything accomplished for yourself? That's not helping usSelf-sacrifice

Paying the Price for Self-Sacrifice

Self-sacrifice has a high cost. Unless you’re from a different planet (in that case, welcome), you have seen The Hunger Games. I loved these movies, and my favorite scene is still when Katniss throws herself into the games to save her sister.  When she screams “I volunteer as tribute”? That’s some serious girl power. It makes a big statement about love, and self-sacrifice. It’s beautiful.

Having said that, people: we don’t live in The Hunger Games. If you do, call me.That’s a whole different topic; we need to talk. I’m here for you.

Why did I find it necessary to point the obvious out? Because we are all walking around here falling on our swords. We “volunteer as tribute” constantly. It is critical to our well-being that we learn how to stop doing this.

What if I don’t Do That?

Now, I hear some of you dissenters in the back, telling me I’m wrong about you. Fair enough, I don’t want to falsely accuse anyone. Let’s see if you fit any of these criteria:

– Ever help a relative move when you didn’t have time?

– Have you lost a night’s sleep to the PTA’s demands for baked goods?

– Listened to your friend gripe about their crazy spouse for hours on end when you really needed a night to decompress?

– Gotten in over your head and majorly burnt out?

Self-Sacrifice
May the odds be ever in your favor

Here’s where we go wrong:

  • People pleasing – it’s not your job to make everyone happy.
  • Underestimation – have an accurate idea of what you’re agreeing to before you say yes.
  • Getting caught up in emotion– guilt or excitement have gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit

Stop volunteering as tribute. You’re not the mocking jay, the messiah, the chosen one, or the boy who lived. I’m not suggesting that you don’t help others, but what help are you really if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can’t get anything accomplished for yourself? That’s not helping us. Let somebody else volunteer. Take a nap instead.

Until next time,

René

P. S. – I found you a cookie recipe, you might need it. The PTA is merciless. Also, Pin this post!

cookies” by jadawin42 is licensed under CC BY-SA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What help are you if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can't get anything accomplished for yourself? That's not helpful to anybody! | Black Girl, Lost Keys. What help are you if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can't get anything accomplished for yourself? That's not helpful to anybody! | Black Girl, Lost Keys. What help are you if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice and you can't get anything accomplished for yourself? That's not helpful to anybody! | Black Girl, Lost Keys.

11 thoughts on “Self-Sacrifice: 3 Ways We Get Stuck As Tributes

  1. Thanks for bringing this up, Rene! I totally feel you on the need to rein in our overzealous commitments.

    Between the energy spikes of ADHD fooling me into thinking I can do ALL THE THINGS!!!, and the self-esteem lows that whisper, “if you say no, you’re worthless,” I have an insanely hard time managing my voluntary work load.

    I’ve lived with this long enough to know that overcommitting makes me more miserable and less helpful, but I needed the reminder to re-evaluate this insidious habit. It’s always creeping in! 😉

    Here’s to epically healthy boundaries!

    1. ADHD consistently pranks me into believing not only can I do all the things, I need less time than the average human to do all the things. It is a dragon we have to keep on slaying!

  2. This topic hits home more than I wish it did. It’s a daily struggle but I’m working on my low self esteem and the need to please everyone so they like me. I’m learning to like myself first and foremost. I think more people need to read this post, print it out and memorize it!

  3. Thank you for this! It’s like you know me. Lol I ALWAYS open my mouth and volunteer to help before thinking it through. My desire to help is stronger than my need for self-care. It’s one of many things I’m working on.

  4. Thank you for sharing this! I definitely fall on my own sword too often! I think it was Warren Buffet who said that his secret to his success was knowing exactly when to say no. I need to cultivate that skill!

  5. “Let somebody else volunteer” – YES!!!! And learn to say NO!!! I have a hard time saying no. I busted my ass last year hoping it would prove that I could take on the responsibilities as supervisor at my job. Guess what? They hired someone else. I’m fine with who they hired – she’s a close friend of mine so the blow didn’t hurt nearly as bad. But the fact that all of that hard work went up in smoke. I won’t be doing that again. This year, I’m working on improving MYSELF for ME. Not for my job, not for a promotion. I’m doing things I enjoy doing and I come first – Not work.

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