Paying the Price for Self-Sacrifice
Self-sacrifice has a high cost. Unless you’re from a different planet (in that case, welcome), you have seen The Hunger Games. I loved these movies, and my favorite scene is still when Katniss throws herself into the games to save her sister. ?When she screams “I volunteer as tribute”? That’s some serious girl power. It makes a big statement about love and self-sacrifice. It’s beautiful.
Having said that, people: we don’t live in The Hunger Games.?If you do, call me. That’s a whole different topic; we need to talk. I’m here for you.
Why did I find it necessary to point the obvious out? Because we are all walking around here falling on our swords. We “volunteer as tribute” constantly. It is critical to our well-being that we learn how to stop doing this.
What if I’m NOT Self-Sacrificing?
Now, I hear some of you dissenters in the back, telling me I’m wrong about you. Fair enough, I don’t want to falsely accuse anyone. Let’s see if you fit any of these criteria:
– Ever help a relative move when you didn’t have time?
– Have you lost a night’s sleep to the PTA’s demands for baked goods?
– Listened to your friend gripe about their crazy spouse for hours on end when you really needed a night to decompress?
– Gotten in over your head and majorly burnt out?
Here’s where we go wrong:
- People pleasing – It’s not your job to make everyone happy. We get into these cycles where we feel like we need to be of service to every human we encounter. We hear their sob story, our hearts melt, and before you know it, we are doing things we have absolutely no business doing. I’m not suggesting you stop having any concern for your fellow man because we need that. I AM suggesting you learn when to say no. That includes: when you are too tired to help when you are too busy to help, and when you are too broke to help. Anything that would cause you a major inconvenience is something you need to evaluate carefully before committing to helping.
- Underestimation of the task before you– Have an accurate idea of what you’re agreeing to before you say yes. There have been many times where I thought I was agreeing to one thing and actually agreed to another. The rate of this happening goes WAY up when I am distracted, so try not to agree to anything you can’t give two minutes of your full attention. That’s how you wind up doing something you absolutely DETEST for no particular reason.
- Getting caught up in emotion– Guilt or excitement have gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit
Stop volunteering as tribute. You’re not the mocking jay, the Messiah, the chosen one, or the boy who lived. I’m not suggesting that you don’t help others, but what help are you really if you are overwhelmed from self-sacrifice?and you can’t get anything accomplished for yourself? That’s not helping us. Let somebody else volunteer. Take a nap instead.
Until next time,
P. S. – I found you a cookie recipe, you might need it. The PTA is merciless. Also, Pin this post!
11 thoughts on “Self-Sacrifice Is NOT Your Salvation!”
Thanks for bringing this up, Rene! I totally feel you on the need to rein in our overzealous commitments.
Between the energy spikes of ADHD fooling me into thinking I can do ALL THE THINGS!!!, and the self-esteem lows that whisper, “if you say no, you’re worthless,” I have an insanely hard time managing my voluntary work load.
I’ve lived with this long enough to know that overcommitting makes me more miserable and less helpful, but I needed the reminder to re-evaluate this insidious habit. It’s always creeping in! 😉
Here’s to epically healthy boundaries!
ADHD consistently pranks me into believing not only can I do all the things, I need less time than the average human to do all the things. It is a dragon we have to keep on slaying!
This topic hits home more than I wish it did. It’s a daily struggle but I’m working on my low self esteem and the need to please everyone so they like me. I’m learning to like myself first and foremost. I think more people need to read this post, print it out and memorize it!
THANK YOU! Your kind words really lifted my spirits today. ?
Thank you for this! It’s like you know me. Lol I ALWAYS open my mouth and volunteer to help before thinking it through. My desire to help is stronger than my need for self-care. It’s one of many things I’m working on.
We are all on that journey together! Sometimes I wish I could just pinch myself instead of opening up my big mouth.
Thank you for sharing this! I definitely fall on my own sword too often! I think it was Warren Buffet who said that his secret to his success was knowing exactly when to say no. I need to cultivate that skill!
Thank you for reading! I really appreciate you!
“Let somebody else volunteer” – YES!!!! And learn to say NO!!! I have a hard time saying no. I busted my ass last year hoping it would prove that I could take on the responsibilities as supervisor at my job. Guess what? They hired someone else. I’m fine with who they hired – she’s a close friend of mine so the blow didn’t hurt nearly as bad. But the fact that all of that hard work went up in smoke. I won’t be doing that again. This year, I’m working on improving MYSELF for ME. Not for my job, not for a promotion. I’m doing things I enjoy doing and I come first – Not work.
YES to all of this!!
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the website is very good.