Pilot Episode: I may yet be a crazy cat lady
“I thought I had this part figured out”, I sobbed, banging my head against the desk – not too hard though- migraines.
Yet again I was bending my bestie’s ear about my ending marriage (for those of you who didn’t know about the divorce, SURPRISE! It’s over).
Over means I’m single.
Single means dating.
I am anxious and awkward. Dating is BAD. Those qualities don’t convince anyone you are cool or interesting, and they DEFINITELY don’t want to potentially pass those qualities on to their kids- should you come close to procreational activities.
Anxiety aside, I can make friends and I even have a bestie. She is not awkward and she always gives me great dating advice which I ignore and get myself into trouble (i.e. She warned me about the husband). Since I’m determined not to sulk at home, I’ve decided to share my escapades with you guys. Plus bestie will have plenty of no bullshit advice for us on how to not marry an asshole while not winding up a crazy cat lady.
Bestie and I have been saying for years that we need a reality show. It isn’t a show, but here’s our pilot. Come back on Monday nights to find out what I’ve fucked up this time. Hilarity shall ensue!
Awkward as always,
Ren?
When I was in the Navy my boss STG1 did a background check on one of my dates. 8 pages later… First and last date ever. Drug trafficking (my own made up word) and a whole lot of other stuff. So don’t feel too bad.
Oh my gosh!
You gotta tell me some more. How on earth did you meet this guy?